My Encounter With Mandeep

It has been a long, long time since I've written a real blog. Since the pandemic days, in fact. But this warrants it. So there I was, going about my usual afternoon busywork at the AVN compound, when I hear a call from downstairs: "Hello?" I thought I heard my co-worker moving in that direction to see what was up, but then a few minutes later: "Hello?" Looked like it was gonna be up to me. So down the stairs I plodded, and immediately found myself face-to-face with a short, pudgy, balding man seemingly of Indian descent, whom I will call "Mandeep" for the purposes of discretion.  "Hello sir, is there somebody I can talk to here? This is the AVN?" he asked me. "Well yes, what do you need?" I asked. "I have traveled so far, I just need to talk with somebody who can help me," he implored. "OK ... what's happening? What's your question?" I persisted. "I want to find out how can I get into the industry?...
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Land Shark Attack Bulletin

Land Shark is a person in my life who plagues my very existence with relentless comments and actions that take great, big, gaping bites out of my soul. My log of LS's latest strike:

So it's been a long, looooooong time since Land Shark has made an appearance ... so long, in fact, that I'd been living under the assumption I was forever free of the beast. But then lo and behold, who texts me out of the clear frickin' blue yesterday? Yep, like a years-dormant killer who's been lying in wait with inhuman patience to slay again, there's my age-old nemesis LS, back to haunt me once more from my phone screen. "Hey fuckface," the text reads. "Miss me? Got a question: this friend of mine is coming in for Comic-Con and wants to know if you could set him up for dinner one night with a porn whore. He's got a thing for your tattooed pig girlfriend Joanna Angel. LMK. He'll pay." My response (after recovering from the shock): "No. Go away." LS's comeback: "Whatever, loser. Have fun jerking off to all your hooker friends you wish you could bang while the rest of us are leading functional lives as normal members of society. Kisses."
   

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